THE BEATLES NEVER REALLY

BROKE UP

By Steve Ludwig

In my last few blogs I commemorated the lives and words of John Lennon and George Harrison, on the anniversaries of their sad passings.

And as I sit down to write my newest blog, I once again find myself in a Fab Four frame of mind.

In 1970, when the movie Let It Be came out, I vividly remember the marquee of the Fairview Cinema here in New Jersey asking the question, under the movie's title, "Their last together??" (with TWO question marks.) It was a big question for us Beatles fans, although I never thought my four friends would ever split.

Oh sure, they were arguing more (at least that's what I would read), but they'd find a way to still make albums. The brilliant Abbey Road was released before Let It Be, but recorded after it, as Let It Be's songs were held back and released after Abbey Road. So I figured if the Fabs were in such a contentious mood during Let It Be, yet were able to work through that and, afterwards, produce as magnificent an achievement as Abbey Road, there's no way they couldn't continue on forever.

But Let It Be was it... 

As each of the Beatles released solo LP's, and in the process pretty much denying any chance of a reunion, I thought, They MUST still be thinking of each other. They can't hate each other THAT much!

And sure enough, in their solo work, John Paul, George, and Ringo made references to each other throughout. OK, so early on, there weren't many friendly references, but I used to feel that, regardless of the negativity, at least they didn't forget about each other completely!

In his first solo album, McCartney, released in April 1970, Paul included a question-and-answer sheet in which he asked and answered all his own questions. He said he didn't foresee the Beatles ever working together again, and he certainly didn't see a Lennon-McCartney songwriting partnership in the future. Wow, this was getting serious. The album cover showed how much distance there was among the Beatles. Near the end of the group's existence, life was definitely not a bowl of cherries.

            

November 27 of the same year saw the release of George's three-album masterpiece, All Things Must Pass. Comprised of many Harrisongs that George had been stockpiling during his time with the Beatles (he had no choice!), All Things Must Pass offered George's take on the last months of un-Fabness. "Wah-Wah" was not only the type of guitar pedal sometimes used by the Beatles' lead guitarist, it's also slang for headaches...and George didn't need anymore of those. While acknowledging his affection for his years with his bandmates, George realized enough was enough:

                                               You've given me a wah-wah
                                               And I'm thinking of you
                                               And all the things that we used to do...

                                               You made me such a big star
                                               Being there at the right time
                                               Cheaper than a dime

                                               I don't need no wah-wahs...
                                                                               -"Wah-Wah"


                                                Isn't it a pity, now isn't it a shame
                                                How we break each other's hearts
                                               And cause each other pain
                                                                               -"Isn't It a Pity"

In this corner at a combined weight of 450 pounds, John, George, and Ringo (carry that weight, boy). 
Their opponent, weighing in at approximately 165 pounds, the Big Mac.
 Paul wanted his in-law, John Eastman, to be the group's business manager, while JG&R opted for Allen Klein. "Run of the Mill" seemed directed only at Paul:

                                               As the days stand up on end
                                               You've got me wondering 
                                               How I lost your friendship
                                               But I see it in your eyes

                                            
Two weeks after All Things Must Pass, John released his brilliant Plastic Ono Band album. Two songs on the LP made reference to the Beatles; "I Found Out" targeted George and Paul:

                                              Old Hare Krishna got nothing on you
                                              Just keep you crazy with nothing to do
                                              Keep you occupied with pie in the sky
                                                                            
                                              I seen religion from Jesus to Paul...
                                              Don't let them fool you...

And in "God," John makes it clear that...

                                              I don't believe in Beatles...

                                             The dream is over, what can I say?

                                             I was the Walrus, but now I'm John...

                                            

It took the Everyman of the group, the one with the least musical talent but surely the most sense, to rise above all the squabbles. Ringo released his single, "It Don't Come Easy," in April 1971. It went to Number One, so obviously, plenty of people bought the record. I wonder how many bothered to turn it over and listen to the flipside, "Early 1970."

 Because it's this song (whose title refers to when the Beatles officially announced their breakup) which shows that at least one of the Fab Four still felt love for the other three. Ringo sings a verse to each Beatle, offering his opinion about which will still come out and play with him. First, Paul:

                                               Lives on a farm, got plenty of charm, beep beep
                                               Got no cows but he sure got a whole lotta sheep
                                               A brand new wife and a family
                                               And when he comes to town 
                                               I wonder if he'll play with me

Ringo had drummed on John's Plastic Ono Band album, so he knew John would come out to play:

                                              Laying in bed watching TV, Cookie!
                                             With his mama by his side, she's Japanese
                                             They screamed and they cried, now they're free
                                             And when he comes to town
                                             I know he's gonna play with me

As would George:

                                             He's a long-haired cross-legged guitar-picker, um hmm
                                             With his long-legged lady in the garden picking daisies
                                             For his soup
                                             A forty-acre house he doesn't see
                                            'Cause he's always in town playing for you with me

So Ringo's sure about John and George, but Paul remains a mystery. Not to worry, because as far as Ringo's concerned,
                                          When I go to town I wanna see all three.

I suppose the closer you are, the more a breakup hurts. I'm not going out on a limb here when I say that John and Paul were extremely close; they were extremely hurt, as well.
They each released albums in 1971, and Paul took the first swing in May with his Ram album.
The cover showed Paul's now-bucolic life, posing with one of those "whole lotta sheep" that Ringo sang about (OK, in this case, a ram):

But it was the back cover that featured a picture which pretty much revealed Paul's feeling about  what Beatle John (and maybe Beatles George and Ringo as well?) was doing to him:

 Yup, it's one beetle "beetling" another... 
And, hey, you kids, if that's not proof enough why downloading songs ain't as good as buying an actual album with the cover art and all, well then I don't what is!

 I hadn't even taken the record out of the sleeve and popped it on the turntable, and already there's trouble!
So let me put the album on my record player. Maybe Paul will make nice in the grooves...                          Side One, Song One: "Too Many People":

                                               Too many people preaching practices
                                               Don't let them tell you what you wanna do...
                                              This is crazy and, baby, it's not like me

Uh oh...Mom, Paul's starting in with John again...

                                               That was your first mistake
                                               You took your lucky break 
                                               And broke it in two
                                               Now what can be done for you?

It took John less than four months to put up his Fab dukes and swing back. The Imagine album contained a postcard with Brother John also posing with a farm animal:

Mom, John just called Paulie a swine!

Here we go again, didn't even get to put the album on yet. Let's see, here, Side One, Song One.
"Imagine." Wow, a beautiful song; destined to be a classic! John's singing about world peace, Utopia, loving one another. Finally, some peace between the boys.
Side One, Song Two..."Crippled Inside." Ha ha, funny title, that one. Let's give it a listen:

                                           You can shine your shoes and wear a suit
                                           You can comb your hair and look quite cute

Hmmm...Now which Beatle was the "cute one?"...  Oh no! 

                                           You can hide your face behind a smile
                                           One thing you can't hide 
                                           Is when you're crippled inside

Should I dare listen to "How Do You Sleep?"

                                           So Sgt. Pepper took you by surprise
                                           You better see right through that mother's eyes
                                           Those freaks was right when they said you was dead
                                           The one mistake you made was in your head

                                            How do you sleep?
                                            How do you sleep at night?

                                            The only thing you done was Yesterday
                                            And since you're gone you're just Another Day

                                            How do you sleep?
                                            How do you sleep at night?

To add insult to injury, George played slide guitar on the track.
It's been documented that Ringo was in the studio while the song was being recorded, but refused to play on it because it was mean-spirited. At one point when John was singing some especially hurtful lyrics, an upset Ringo said in a loud voice, "All right, that's enough, John!"

[By the way, am I the only one freaked out by the fact that Jesse McCartney (no relation to Paul) recorded a completely different song titled, "How Do You Sleep"? Instant karma's gonna get somebody!]

So will these solo Beatles ever say something nice about each other in song?

You betcha they will! And in my next blog, we'll read some of the most beautiful, and at times, most heart-wrenching lyrics ever written to each other by John, Paul, George, and Ringo.


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Good health to you all!  Steve Ludwig




                                           

                                               
                                               

                                                     

  

GEORGE HARRISON - The Art Of Dying

Goodbye, George

By Steve Ludwig

"Let death come at any time. I am ready. My only request is that you sing the glories of God and never stop singing..."

                                                                                   -George on his deathbed

The headline in the New York Daily News after George Harrison died said so much more in one word - George - than it could have in an entire paragraph. It didn't read George Harrison or Harrison or Musician or even Beatle. Nothing else was necessary because George said it all. 

We were all on a first-name basis with each of the Beatles (we still are), because they were our friends; for most of the world, the friends we never met (although I personally was lucky enough to be in a group that was shushed by George. See my April 1, 2012 blog).

Brian Wilson wasn't a personal friend of George's, but he pretty much expressed all our feelings: "I am horribly saddened by the death of George Harrison. Just like everybody else in the world, I have always considered all the Beatles to be my friends."

Say John, Paul, George, and Ringo and nothing else is necessary. More than a few of my eighth-grade students of today know their names, and those that don't WILL know them by year's end, I promise.

It's really one word: JOHNPAULGEORGEANDRINGO. And on November 29, 2001, another syllable of that word was taken from us. We lost the first on December 8 in 1980.

And so many nice things were said by so many people after George's death. He must have been a great friend to have had. 

Ringo said, "We will miss George for his sense of love, his sense of music, and his sense of laughter... George loved me and I loved him."

A short time later, Ringo expressed his feelings for his buddy the best way he knew how -- through his music. On his Ringo Rama album, Ringo recorded a song for George called "Never Without You." In it, he references George's songs:

Every part of you was in your song

Now we will carry on...Never without you

Within you, without you

Here comes the sun is about you. 

[Search YouTube for"Never Without You Ringo Starr" to watch the video.]

But what really tugs at the heartstrings is this one minute snippet of an interview with Ringo about visiting George in Switzerland while George received cancer treatment:

[YouTube search: "Ringo Cries for George Harrison."]

"I'm devastated and very, very sad," was Paul's reaction. "We knew he'd been ill for a long time. He was a lovely guy and a very brave man and he had a wonderful sense of humor. He is really just my baby brother."

Here's a four-minute YouTube video of Paul outside his home talking to reporters about George's death:

[Search "Paul McCartney's Reaction to George Harrison's Death."]

Paul has also made George's "Something" a part of his concert set list. For the first part of the song, he accompanies himself on a ukulele that George had given to him. Here's a super YouTube video of Paul in concert singing "Something" in a concert in Liverpool, with Olivia Harrison and Yoko in attendance:

[Search: "Paul McCartney Something Live at Anfield, Liverpool"]

Speaking of Yoko (a person with whom George had a few differences of opinion), here's her kind tribute to George: 

"George has given so much to us in his lifetime and continues to do so even after his passing, with his music, his wit, and his wisdom. Thank you, George, it was grand knowing you."

A universal opinion of those who knew George is that he had a tremendous sense of humor. He loved to laugh, his humor could be subtle, and at other times, George could be downright silly.

He was a big fan of Monty Python's Flying Circus, and he had so loved the controversial Monty Python and the Holy Grail, that when the Pythons were having trouble financing their follow-up movie, Life of Brian, George started a company called Handmade Films for the sole purpose of financing Life of Brian. He figured it was the only way for him to get to see the movie. Python's Eric Idle later said it was "the most expensive movie ticket in cinema history."

 And what about that famous Harrison wit? Well, in doing some research for this blog, I came across a quote of George's that gives us a pretty good taste:

"I'm a tidy sort of bloke. I don't like chaos. I keep records in the record rack, tea in the tea caddy,and pot in the pot box."

George's first wife, Patti Boyd, and George's friend Eric Clapton had an unconventional relationship with George. Patti left George for Eric and later regretted it. (She and Clapton later divorced.) In 1976, two years after he and Patti had split, George sent Eric and Patti a note letting them know all was forgiven. George and Eric remained close friends, in spite of the circumstances, to the end.

Said Patti, "I burst into tears when I heard he had died. I couldn't bear the thought of a world without George."

Keith Richards has said in more than one interview that he always felt a special closeness to George because his role in the Rolling Stones was similar to that of George's in the Fabs. On his website, Keith said, "George was a great mate of mine. He was a gentle soul. Another one sorely missed. I guess the good die young."

Bob Dylan, a  major influence of George's and a fellow Traveling Wilbury: "George was a giant, a great, great soul, with all of the humanity, all of the wit and humor, the wisdom, the spirituality, the common sense of a man, and compassion for people. The world is a profoundly emptier place without him."

The two other surviving Wilburys, Jeff Lynne and Tom Petty (the late, great Roy Orbison passed away in 1988), had these thoughts after George's passing:

   Jeff Lynne: "You always knew where you stood with George, he was totally honest. I feel blessed to have been so close to him. Some of the happiest days of my life were spent in the studio with George."

I was lucky enough to come across this three-minute YouTube video of Jeff and George playing banjos together. In the opening part, Jeff tells about the first time he met George; the real payoff is the George and Jeff banjo section.

[YouTube: "Jeff Lynne & George Harrison Play Banjos" (A must-see!)]

In 2005, four years after George's death, Tom Petty still grieved. "George devastated me. I didn't want George to die. It so ripped my heart out that I still can't think about it."

You must watch the Concert for George. It was staged one year to the day after George's passing.

Sharing the stage were Paul, Ringo, Eric, Jeff, Tom, Billy Preston, Dhani Harrison, Anoushka Shankar, and others. 

Anoushka's father, Ravi Shaknar, was George's sitar mentor and very close friend. Last year, Ravi reminisced about his final times with George: "We always had a very cheerful time, in the sense that we generally didn't want to talk. He was very ill at that time. He used to come often, very privately - no one knew at the time - and stay for a week to ten days at my home."

As most music fans of a particular era know, Ravi asked for George's help in raising global awareness to the devastation in Bangla Desh. The Bangla Desh concerts took place in 1971. 

Ravi: "Thanks to George it was such a wonderful event, first of its kind."

And the people of Bangla Desh revered George for the rest of his life.

Bangla Desh President Budruddoza Chowdhury spoke for his fellow countrymen after George died: "The people of Bangla Desh consider George Harrison their beloved man, who felt for them in 1971 during their days of agony and distress."

Added Bangla Desh Prime Minister Khaleda Zia, "George Harrison will be remembered forever by the people of Bangla Desh."

Years later, Bob Geldof organized the first Live Aid concerts. He asked George for advice. Geldof's remembrance of George: "George did it very well and with great grace and dignity. George never let anyone down. He was never disappointing. That's pretty amazing."

Prime Minister Tony Blair: "He wasn't just a great musician, an artist, but did a lot of work for charity as well. He'll be greatly missed around the world." 

Beatles producer George Martin: "He cared deeply for those he loved. Now I believe, as he did, that he has entered a higher state. God give him peace."

As George Martin alluded to, George was a man of extreme faith. His album Living in the Material World explored the duplicity he often wrestled with in living a holy life within a material world.

His wife, Olivia, and son, Dhani, put it best when they released this statement about their beloved George:

"He gave his life to God a long time ago. He wasn't trying to hang on to anything. He was fine with it. He left this world as he lived in it, conscious of God, fearless of death, and at peace, surrounded by family and friends. He often said, 'Everything else can wait, but the search for God cannot wait...and love one another.'"

**********************************************************

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Steve

GEORGE HARRISON

The Art of Dying

By Steve Ludwig

There'll come a time when all of us must leave here

Then nothing Sister Mary can do

Will keep me here with you

As nothing in this life that I've been trying

Can equal or surpass the art of dying

                                           --George Harrison, 1970

In the Sixties, it was rare to watch a Beatles press conference or interview without seeing at least one of the Fab Four smoking a cigarette. It was usually John or Paul or Ringo on different occasions, but it always seemed to be George as the one Beatle with a constant ciggie in his hand.

In July 1997, George noticed a lump on the side of his neck. It was removed, and it proved to be malignant. George blamed it on all of his tobacco intake over the years.

In June 1998, he told his fans, "I'm not going to die on you folks yet. I'm not a lump person."

In the next two-and-a-half years, George seemed to be prophetic. His cancer was in remission, and from all indications, he had beaten it.

On December 23, 1999, a young woman broke into George's home in Maui. The Harrisons, George and his wife Olivia, weren't home. It came out during the trial that the woman had been stalking George for years.

They weren't in Maui because they were at George's other residence in England, in his mansion at Friar Park.

A week after the young woman's break-in at Maui, at 3:30 in the morning, George was awoken at Friar Park by the sound of breaking glass. He went downstairs to investigate, wearing only his pajama bottoms. There he was confronted by a mentally disturbed man, who proceeded to stab him in the chest forty times. 
As George described the gruesome confrontation, "I thought I was dying. I vividly remember a deliberate thrust of a knife and I could feel the blood entering my mouth and hear my breath exhaling from the wound."
He was saved only because Olivia used a heavy lamp on the assailant's head, knocking him unconscious.
It was later determined that had George been lying in bed when he was attacked, he certainly wouldn't have survived as he wouldn't have been able to fight back.

Surgeons were forced to remove part of George's lung. 

The two break-ins were unrelated; the scary side of fame.
After John Lennon's shocking assassination on Dec. 8, 1980, the three remaining members of the most popular band in music history took extra precautions for their safety. As I mentioned in a previous blog, Paul McCartney, to this day, needs bomb-sniffing dogs to inspect his dressing room before each concert.
And in spite of the extraordinary security on all of the properties owned by George (certainly the most private of the Beatles), somehow it still wasn't enough.
Yet through it all, George never lost his famous, dry sense of humor. When asked by reporters if he knew anything about the man who almost stabbed him to death, George replied, "Well, I know he wasn't trying out for the Traveling Wilburys."

But close friends said the psychological scars left by the incident were deeper in George than the physical ones.

However, physically he was not in much better shape. He was understandably weakened by the attack. He would tire out quickly, and, at times, had trouble drawing a full breath.
The ever-humble George apologized to his fans for any concern they may have felt for him.

Then in March 2001, a malignant tumor was removed from one of George's already fragile lungs.

One of George's closest aides was sure the attack in 1999 was why the cancer returned.
"After the attack, he didn't have the strength left to fight."

Ringo recalled visiting George on one occasion while George was receiving his chemo treatment. Ringo told George that he had to leave him and go to Boston, because Ringo's own daughter, Lee, was receiving treatment for a brain tumor (she since recovered). Lying on his back, unable to move, George asked Ringo, "Do you want me to go with you?"

A month later, George was receiving treatment at the Oncology Institute of Southern Switzerland. In between treatments, he resided at a home by a lake at the Italian border. 
Paul met him in Milan to spend some of the quickly lessening time with the friend he had known since high school.

George had never been afraid of dying; in fact, he said, he had prepared his entire adult life for his inevitable demise. 
With this second cancerous tumor, George knew time was of the essence. He needed to finish working on songs that would eventually wind up being his final album (titled Brainwashed).
Never one to shy away from sharing his inner thoughts, George, now knowing he was going to die soon, composed a song about it:

Never been so crazy

But I've never felt so sure

I wish I had the answer to give

Don't even have the cure

Talking to myself

Crying out loud

Only I can hear me

I'm stuck inside a cloud

I made some exhibition

I lost my will to eat

The only thing that matters to me

Is to touch your lotus feet

                                                          --"Stuck Inside A Cloud"

Looking to get his affairs in order, George needed to tie up some loose ends. 

In early October, less than two months before he died, George kept a promise he had made to fellow musician Jools Holland (formerly of Squeeze). 

George gathered all his strength and entered a recording studio to record a song he had written for Jools's upcoming album. It was called "Horse To the Water," and it was the last song George ever recorded. 

Its lyrics referred to three old friends. One verse alluded to "...a friend of mine in so much misery." Paul had recently lost his wife, Linda, to cancer, and he was still grieving. Another spoke of an alcoholic (Ringo is a recovering alcoholic); yet another verse referred to a preacher (John was known for his many anthemic songs). 

Overall, "Horse To the Water''s theme is one of heroes not being able to find peace.

Once again, displaying his dark wit, George copyrighted the song to a new publishing company of his own creation, "RIP Ltd. 2001."

Within a few short weeks, his cancer had spread from his lungs to his brain.

Skeletal and hallucinating from an enormous ingestion of painkillers, George decided to receive experimental treatment at Staten Island University Hospital.

It was there he was visited for the last time by Paul. They spent their final hours together holding hands, laughing, and joking as if nothing were wrong.

George wanted to spend his final days in his beloved home in Hawaii.

While flying across the United States, George became too weak, and the plane had to make an emergency landing in Los Angeles.

For privacy, the Harrison family purposely "leaked" a phony address to the press about where George was brought.

He, was, in fact, actually brought to a secret residence owned by Paul.

It was here, at 1:30 PM on November 29, 2001, surrounded by family members and a few friends, George lost his long fight with cancer.

He was cremated at the same place Cass Elliot had been cremated many years earlier.
Olivia and son, Dhani announced that George's ashes were to be scattered in the Ganges River in India. However, this may have very well been George's final joke. It is believed that he asked his family to say that in order to shield them from the paparrazzi and gawkers. Apparentally, his ashes were actually scattered on the grounds of the beautiful home he'd bought in Switzerland, near to where he had received radiotherapy. 

 Dhani summed up the last few years of his dad's life:

 "He never sat and felt sorry for himself. He had no fears or worries left when he died..."

In my next blog, I write about the many things that were said by so many people after George's death; Ringo writes a song about his fallen friend; and Paul immortalizes George in concert.


Perhaps you'd enjoy listening to my radio show, STEVE LUDWIG'S CLASSIC POP CULTURE. It's at www.PlanetLudwig.com. Thanks!

Follow me on Twitter:   www.Twitter.com/LudGuy

If you liked my blog, you may also like my first book. It's called SEE YOU IN CCU: A LIGHTHEARTED TALE OF MY OPEN-HEART SURGERY.

It's available for half-price at my website:  CCUBOOK.COM.

My brother Tom's latest blog is also up. You'll find it at SecondGradeMinds.wordpress.com.

AS ALWAYS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING MY BLOGS.~ Steve

        

SOME STARS ARE JUST FULL OF THEMSELVES

(Yet Some Aren't)

Backstage Contract Demands

By Steve Ludwig

Are you as fascinated as I am at some of the things that appear as part of a performer's contract rider? 

A contract rider is a list of requests or demands by the performer for a concert promoter to follow.

Reading these riders gives one a good idea as to the personality of the performer; they're certainly not an end-all glimpse into a performer, but they can be quite telling.

Jennifer Lopez has more talent in her pinky (or in her case, her left buttock) than I do in my entire body. 

But once I checked out her contract rider, she proved to be the type of person I had heard she was for so long: one of the biggest, most self-absorbed divas in the world. 

The phony baloney appeared for a charity concert a few years ago; a charity concert, ok? Before she would perform, her rider included that she must be provided with a forty-foot private trailer adorned with white curtains, white carpeting, and white furniture. Add to that expensive French candles at fifty bucks a pop; I wonder how much those demands set back the charity. And when she agreed to be part of a recording for the same charity, yup, she insisted on the forty-foot, custom-furnished trailer. Grrrr...

Mariah Carey's just as full of herself. Her backstage area has to include furniture with "no busy patterns," two dozen white roses, and $200 bottles of cabernet sauvignon.

Christina Aguilera demands a full police escort to and from her concert venues, so she doesn't have to endure traffic jams (like us common folk).

Sure, the argument can be made that, hey, these people have earned the right to demand these things. I say BUNK! They've earned the right to be idiots and to look down at people? Or maybe they were this way before they "earned" this "right."

Compare Carey and Lopez's riders to Alicia Keys's. Ms. Keys puts both of those divas to shame, talent-wise, as well as rider-wise. What does this performer who has sold over 15 million records demand? Only tuna fish sandwiches and some simple Glade candles. Why do I get the feeling that Alicia Keys would be a cooler friend to have?

Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of Elvis the King, could be demanding. Being Elvis's only kid automatically brings with it a sense of unreality. Keeping Princess Presley happy must be near impossible, wouldn't you think? She must "require" thousands of flowers at least, before she can give a representative performance. Nope. Lisa Marie's rider states, "Flowers are OK, but not necessary."   

I developed an interest in these things a few years ago after I had read that one of the stipulations in Van Halen's contracts was that, among other things, their backstage dressing rooms must be supplied with M & M's; however, all the brown M & M's had to be removed, or else the band may not play that night. 

I thought to myself, What a bunch of friggin' prima donnas. But after I discovered the full story, I found myself giving credit to Van Halen for being pretty darn smart. One of the first things their handlers and roadies check when they arrive at a gig is the M & M dish. If there are brown M & M's in there, they know the promoter has not properly read the contract, and there may be more important issues to address before the band takes the stage. Pretty clever, huh?

The Beach Boys have a similar instance in their riders. They want BIC lighters available backstage, but none of them may be green.

Some of the biggest, most influential performers (not necessarily the biggest-selling...are you listening, Jennifer, Mariah, and Christina?) are the coolest.

Bob Dylan: a dozen clean towels, 2 ashtrays, a bar of soap, and a table for a food spread.

The velvet-voiced Smokey Robinson? His rider stipulates that whatever he is entitled to backstage, so are his band members and backup singers.

Bruce Springsteen projects an image as being a man of the people. Is he the same way backstage? You bet! The Boss insists on an area large enough so the band and crew can share their pre-concert meal together.

Some riders might surprise you, as they did me.

Rapper Eminem insists on no alcohol backstage (he's a recovering alcoholic). He asks for "Dannon Light and Fit Yogurt" as well as Gundelshein pickles to be available.

Marilyn Manson wants Gummi bears, Doritos, and 2% milk in his dressing room.

Obviously in response to a bad experience, the Black-Eyed Peas stipulate that the sound board engineer must have a command of the English language, and he must be sober throughout the performance!

One part of Donny Osmond's rider doesn't surprise me. He seems like a good guy. So it makes sense that if a fan runs up onstage, she/he is to be removed quickly but kindly.

Ditto for Elton John. He threatens that any of the venue crew will be relieved of his or her duty if any concertgoer is dealt with in an excessively hostile manner. 

Even if you're familiar with Iggy Pop's persona, it'd be hard not to laugh at two of his demands: There must be a Bob Hope impersonator backstage, as well as "...seven dwarfs dressed up as those dwarfs from that marvelous Walt Disney film about the woman who goes to sleep for a hundred years after biting a poisoned dwarf, or maybe pricking her finger on a sharp apple...or something." After listing tons of these superbly outrageous demands, Pop's contract states, "If you can't do these things, it's OK."

Did you know that Willie Nelson's concert venues must be smoke-free? (Yeah, I raised my eyebrows at that one, too.)

I got a laugh out of Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Before the concert, they ask that among other things, 12 bottles of beer be out on the food table. After the show? Five cases of beer!

I saved the two most sobering riders for the end, and they both have to do with the Beatles. 

No doubt as a result of John Lennon's murder in 1980, as well as George Harrison being nearly stabbed to death by an intruder in 1999 (two years before his death from cancer), Paul McCartney's dressing room must be checked by bomb-sniffing dogs before he enters it.

And we go back to the Sixties for the greatest request of all from the most influential band of all time. 

The Beatles, while touring the US in the midst of our country's civil rights protests, had it written into their contract that they would not be required to play to a segregated audience.

Just one more reason why they're the best of all.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

And well, hey there~ You might enjoy my radio show. It's STEVE LUDWIG'S CLASSIC POP CULTURE, and you can listen at www.PlanetLudwig.com. Thanks!

Follow me on Twitter: www.Twitter.com/LudGuy.

IF YOU ENJOYED READING MY BLOG, WOULD YOU CONSIDER BUYING MY BOOK, SEE YOU IN CCU? IT'S AVAILABLE FOR HALF-PRICE AT MY WEBSITE,  CCUBOOK.COM.

AND MY BROTHER TOM'S BLOG IS AT  SecondGradeMinds.wordpress.com.

AS ALWAYS, THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING MY BLOGS...Steve